


Mind Body and Soul

by BohemianBeth



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Soulmates, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BohemianBeth/pseuds/BohemianBeth
Summary: John knows there's something wrong with him, and the "problem" only seems to be growing worse. One day Dr. Beach arrives at the Deacon home to have John involuntarily committed to a  rehabilitation facility known as The Pods Community, essentially an asylum for troubled boys and girls. There, John's life is changed forever when he discovers that he has 3 soul brothers who have been waiting for his arrival.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor, Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 32
Kudos: 19





	1. I'm Going Slightly Mad

**Author's Note:**

> Ummmm yeah this was supposed to be a very bizarre and trippy Thanksgiving one-shot, but I got carried away with the potential idea and now it's a full blown story. You're welcome. I know I have soooo many abandoned stories and haven't really worked on anything much in ages apart from the Blind AU, but I got this epic idea and had to roll with it. Besides, I feel exhausted and do not want to study anymore for my contracts exam because the subject is so dry and I'm probably going to fail anyway. So here's a crazy science fiction fantasy story that's probably indicative of my mad psyche. Thanksgiving is now apparently a thing in the UK in this story's universe because plot. Deal with it! Main pairings are Deacury and Maylor but there's plenty of Froger in it too if you squint. Enjoy Queenies!

John's POV

"My name is John Richard Deacon, and I was born on August 19th, 1951."

"And how long have you been hearing these voices, Mr. Deacon?"

"For as long as I can remember..."

That was my first of many psych evaluations. I was 10 years old. There was no official diagnosis since early onset schizophrenia was uncommon in children under 13 and my results were inconclusive. I was put on some pills to make the "whispers" stop, but it only got worse. They were no longer whispers now. I could hear them as full, distinct voices. Three voices to be exact. At random times they would keep me awake and tell me nonsensical things. They'd blend their voices in harmony almost in a resemblance of singing. I would hear them, question them, but they would never respond directly. At least in a way that made sense. All I heard was babbling, incoherence and songs in another language.

As my teenage years persisted, I was constantly physically exhausted to the point that I could barely even move. It was a side effect of the medications, I was told. Chronic fatigue, they told me. My throat often sore feeling like hot lava, despite running no fever or any physical symptoms--medical science could explain that so I'm told. By my sophomore year of high school, I was too ill to attend and had to lay sick in bed for most of the day, just listening to these voices argue with no power to stop them.

'It's all in your head, John.' 'We'll prescribe more medication' 'Another consultation should help us understand'...I had heard all of the doctors' excuses and been through their attempts to "fix" me, but I was beyond fixing at this point. How could these muscle aches be something completely made up? There had to be something physically wrong with me for any of this to be happening. I wasn't crazy. I just wanted to be normal.

I recognized the softest of the three voices, but as usual I couldn't decipher what he was trying to say. This voice always made me feel calm. He usually was the last thing I heard before I went to sleep. When I closed my eyes, I thought of the moon and the stars, and I was put at ease. I opened my eyes again. Ignoring the soreness in my body, I reached from my bed toward the curtains, letting light into my darkened room. Peering out the window I saw the real stars shining bright, clearing a darkened sky. "It's a beautiful night." I spoke aloud to the softest voice. "I believe you appreciate nights like these. You seem like the star gazing type. Very calm and peaceful." I shut my eyes again. "Here's to a night without any sleep paralysis." I murmured to myself and whoever might be listening. It was a silly wish because sleep paralysis was as common as breathing for me, but I warmed myself in the thought.

Naturally, when I was just starting to drift off, I was woken up by another familiar voice. Ah yes, the one who loves to scream at 3 in the morning. Originally, I believed this screaming voice was a girl, but then I heard him saying things other than "Aaaaaaaah!" and discovered that it was a distinct high but raspy voice belonging to another boy. For this voice, I imagined an elegant model like man accompanying it because for all its annoyance there was something very...beautiful about it. It somehow encompassed the mysteries of femininity with the strengths of masculinity all in one. This voice was probably the most fun of the three. I got a sense of intense energy and a sunny sort of feeling like a puppy dog that wanted to play all day long.

"I know you wanna tell me something." I yawned. "But can you not scream it at me at 3 in the morning, please? Thanks." I slumped back against my pillow, ignoring the burning in my throat. It was almost like I was the one screaming. My own voice felt hoarse from it as usual.

Actually, my throat hurt the most when the last voice was active. This final voice can only be described as the powerful voice of a God. There was no other way to put it to words. Smooth and posh, but with such a depth it was terrifying to explore. I looked forward to hearing from him the most. Especially when he sang. It was the most majestic sound in the word, something angels would only dream of. No, this couldn't be all in my head. How could plain little me come up with something so grandiose? I couldn't conceptualize a single voice sounding like an entire orchestra.

Then all three voices would harmonize, and it was such a surreal experience. Hearing these magnificent symphonies in my head and not being able to pin it to a source made seem mad. These voices were so ingrained in me from all these years that I was started to succumb to my own insanity. "What is wrong with me?" I sighed, trying and failing to fall back asleep.

Then for the first time in my life, the unimaginable happened. I got a concrete response. It was a whisper, much like when the voices first began to haunt me. A soft chuckle, a laugh. One of them was giggling--the beautiful voice I believe. Then a second God voice joined in with laughter. All that was missing was the laughter of the soft voice, but this was enough for me. I had never heard any of them laugh before. It was nice, almost infectious. I probably looked like The Joker laughing at nothing in the middle of the night, but at least it was a relief from the pain.

Getting a tiny bit of sleep, I woke up groggy the following morning. It was Thanksgiving, but there wasn't much to be thankful for. I guess I was grateful for Mom, Dad, and Julie. They still supported me and loved me even though I was so problematic. My condition caused them nothing but hardship, but they still cared for me. I had a warm bed, clothes, and food. The turkey tonight was promising, and I knew Mom would bring a plateful up to my room. I just hoped to have enough strength and energy to eat and enjoy the yummies.

There was a knock on my door. "John, honey," Mom called, "Someone is here to see you." I tried to sit up. Sore as usual. How could I be sore like running a marathon when I was too weak to bloody move?

"John? Are you awake?" Dad knocked more forcefully. "Dr. Beach came all the way from the countryside to visit."

Dr. Beach? He was new. My parents had all but given up on doctors when the last one basically said nothing short of electroshock therapy would save me. I shuddered. "I'm awake. You can come in."

Mom and Dad entered with an unfamiliar man. Julie curiously poked her head in the doorway to see what was going on.

"Hello, John. My name is Dr. Jim Beach." The man introduced himself. "Your parents tell me you haven't been well."

"Yeah um I...I'm just always in pain and never have enough energy to get up and live a normal life out of bed." I started with the physical symptoms because they made me sound more sane than the whole "I hear voices thing". Speaking of which they began to act up again. This time the beautiful one was singing something with a bounce to it. I could get a sense of rhythm but not much else. He could really keep a good beat. As catchy as it was, I tried to drown him out, so I could listen to the doctor.

"May I have a closer look at that birthmark on the back of your hand?" Dr. Beach requested. Odd. It was just a strange birthmark. Nobody really paid too much attention to it before. All things considered, it was the most normal thing about me. "It kinda looks like a chain." I said lifting my hand from him to observe. My fingers appeared perfectly soft and smooth, but somehow it felt like they were covered in blisters. Dr. Beach only looked at the backside of my palm where the birthmark was located about the size of a dime. I had it since I was born.

"A chain with four links." He observed. "Interesting."

"Doctor, please, we just want to get our son the help he needs without resorting to lobotomy." Dad said. "He's only sixteen. He should be out with friends living his life. He shouldn't be stuck in bed withering away while talking to himself like a lunatic."

Oh God! Was lobotomy an option? No! Mom and Dad wouldn't let that happen to me. Besides, I had to have some sort of say in my future right? They couldn't just remove my brain without my permission. That wasn't right.

"John, tell me, how many voices do you hear? There are three of them, correct?" Dr. Beach inquired.

I nodded. "There's three. They won't go away. B-But you can help me, right? You won't...you won't lobotomize me."

"John!" Mom gasped. "Your father was only joking. We would never..." The tear that slipped from eye and rolled down her cheek gave away her true thoughts. "We just want your suffering to stop. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"John, I can assure you that our treatment is like none other and it is completely non invasive. No shocks, no pills, nothing of that sort. It's all natural. And has a very high success rate I might add." Dr. Beach explained. "You will be safe with us, and not only will you get better, but you will thrive."

Wait what? I turned to my parents' worried faces. Oh God! No! Dr. Beach was going to take me away and I'd never see them ever again. I'd be locked away in a padded room. "I-I'm going to an asylum?" I cried.

"The Pods Community is a rehabilitation facility, not an asylum." Dr. Beach corrected. Semantics. I knew what it meant. We all knew what it meant.

I looked into my mother's eyes. She couldn't do this to me. She wouldn't. "Mom, please! You promised me you'd never give up on me! You said you would never send me away! Please!"

"I know, John, but this is the only way for you to get better. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Dad!" I pleaded, "I'm begging you. Don't let them take me. Please."

"I'm sorry, son." This was the first time I saw my father cry. "We love you, John. We just want you to have a normal life and be happy."

"I'm happy at home. Please. Don't do this. I wanna stay here. You can't make me leave." I felt myself drained of energy but I fought off the fatigue. "Please." I sobbed.

"It's going to be okay, John." Mom squeezed my hand. "We're going to visit you every weekend and we can talk on the phone and write letters."

I was too lethargic to argue, so I just shut my eyes trying not to cry anymore. The voices crooned all at once in an overlapping buzz.

"John, sweetheart." I woke up to my mother's voice. "Dad and I have your stuff packed and ready to go. Dr. Beach has the van outside ready to go."

"WHAT?" I tried to wrap my head around what was happening. This has to be a nightmare. No way would my family throw such a drastic life change on me with absolutely no warning.

"It's what's best, John." Dad said. "Dr. Beach is going to pair you with other boys who are like you. Pod therapy is what he calls it, and it's proven to work. We just can't stand to watch you suffer like this."

"You can't just send me away to..to God knows where. A-And you're doing this on Thanksgiving of all days. Please. Don't you love me? How can you turn me over to the hands of a total stranger."

"We've been looking into this for a long time. Met with Dr. Beach, visited the facility. We've done our research. The reason we didn't tell you until now was that we feared you would act out like this." Mom said. "But we trust Dr. Beach and we've signed the paperwork. You'll be in his custody until you're eighteenth birthday and he'll continue to care for you after that if you choose to stay. The Pods Community offers life long support for troubled youth."

How could my own parents betray me like this? They were basically sending me to prison, worse than prison. I did nothing wrong.

"If you're well enough, we'll help you get downstairs to say goodbye to Julie."  
Dad offered.

"Please." I tried again. "It's Thanksgiving. You can't make me leave forever on Thanksgiving. I'm begging you, don't do this to me."

"It's already done, John." Dad said. "Here, I'll help you up."

I was very weak but I desperately tried to protest. It was no use, Dad picked me up and brought me downstairs. Dr. Beach was waiting by the front door. I scowled at him, giving him my most venomous glare I could muster. He couldn't get away with tearing me away from my family.

I heard the soft voice in the back of my mind. It was compelling me to calm down. I tried to quell the sound and any fake sense of complacency it gave me.

"John, do you have to leave?" Julie, still in her pink nightie this early in the morning, walked over to give me a hug. "I don't want you to leave. Mommy, Daddy, why does he have to go away?"

"Julie, please don't make this any harder than it is." Mom said. "We'll visit John on Saturday. That's only three days away."

Three days was a lifetime when I was relinquishing my freedom to a place I'd never been before and knew nothing about. The more I thought about it, the more the anxiety overwhelmed me. I felt like I was drowning. "Please, please! I'll be good. I'll tell the voices to stop...I'll get my energy back somehow. I won't complain when I feel so worn out. Please! Anything! Just don't send me away." I bawled.

"Dr. Beach knows what he's doing." Dad said. "It's what's best for you."

"NO!" I screamed as Dad picked me up again. With my limited mobility, I tried my best to kick and push to break free. I shrieked and wailed, but nothing seemed to work. Before I knew it, I was forced into the van, my seatbelt clicked around me like the sealing of a coffin.

Mom kissed my cheek, wetting my face with her tears. "Love you so much, my brave boy. We'll see you in three days." She whispered.

"Please." I gave it one last attempt. "Mom, it's Thanksgiving. You don't have to do this."

"Be strong. We love you, John." Dad said.

I nearly stopped breathing when he shut the car door. This was it. My life was officially over. Dr. Beach put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. He ignored me as I banged against the window screaming. My parents mindlessly waved like drones as we drove away. Soon my house, the one place I could call home, was out of sight. I fumbled with the door of the car only to realize that the child's lock was activated. Damn it!

"This is kidnapping you know." I shouted.

"It is not kidnapping. Your parents released you into my custody. I should know. I'm an attorney." Dr. Beach stated.

Lying son of a bitch! "I thought you were a doctor."

"I am a doctor, but since I opened the facility, I decided to go back to school and obtain a law degree. You have no idea how difficult it is to protect people like us from the government and private laboratories. Knowing the law and our rights is very helpful to keep us out of hot water." He said. "I know this is hard for you to accept, John, but I'm not the bad guy here. I'm doing my best to raise a community of connectors so we're all safe, happy and healthy."

As he put on his turn signal, I spotted a birthmark nearly identical to mine on the back of his hand. Only instead of four links, his chain had three. What did it mean? What did any of this mean? Was I even sane?

"You were likely told your entire life that you were unwell, sick, crazy even." Dr. Beach explained. "None of that is true. Science is the answer to most of life's mysteries, but there are few things that only magic can explain. 1% of the world population is born with magic, but that magic comes in links bonding us to one another in mind, body, and soul. Each person plays a different but essential role as a connector in a pod's dynamic. You are a body. This means you are in volitional control of all three of your soul brothers and eventually your power skills will expand outside of your pod with practice, but I would not recommend using any magic outside of your pod."

My head was spinning. Connectors, pods, magic? It all needed to slow down.

"I know this is all very overwhelming, but I promise it will make sense in time especially after you meet your soul brothers. Being in close proximity to them should alleviate most if not all of the pain. Their voices will also become much more clear. Now it likely sounds like a static radio station, I doubt you can understand any of it. Plus with two minds instead of one, you're likely having more trouble than usual..."

This wasn't making anything clearer. "Dr. Beach—" I interrupted.

"Please call me Miami. Everyone does." That was the least crazy thing he'd said in a while.

"Miami." I said as politely as I could. "Can you please slow down and just explain it all in a way I'll understand."

"I'll try my best but this stuff is very complicated as you'll soon discover." He replied. "So you are connected to three other boys, your soul brothers. Together the four of you make up a pod, Pod 39 to be precise. Most pods only have three connectors: one mind, one body, one soul. Your pod is an uncommon one because you have two minds, so there's four of you. But that's okay. I created a safe space for all pods in the community I've built for us no matter the size. But I'm getting off track. You're a body. So that means you have a kind of magic which allows you to control others' movements. Think of yourself as a puppet master pulling people's strings."

"Miami, with all due respect, I can barely move my own body. This is bloody insane." I interjected.

"Unfortunately, part of being a body means that you feel the force of the movement of your soul brothers. You're sore and tired all the time because you feel as though your body is exerting their energy in addition to your own. Essentially you're riding four bicycles at the same time. It's physically draining and bound to leave you ill as you have been. Once you're closer to your soul brothers and aware of their movements, then simply breathing won't be so taxing anymore. That's why it's recommended that you stay and travel within your pod. You'll find I have very few guidelines and I am flexible for the most part, so I expect you to abide by the basics. It's for your own comfort and well being. When I leave you off in your pod, I'll be giving you a handbook with everything you need to know."

If I wasn't anxious before, all this talk of "pods" was certainly doing it to me. What did pods look like? Were we locked in dark caves and only let out for a few minutes of fresh air and sunshine? Were we kept in alien cocoons or mummified and put in a casket? I was not looking forward to finding out. I kept pinching myself, willing myself to wake up. 'Let me out of this cheap B movie!' I internally screamed at myself. Maybe I had just lost it and gone completely mad.

"So...I'm going to be spending...t-the rest of my life with...three strangers...w-who also have magic powers?" Being stuck in a "pod" with these people that I didn't know was terrifying. What if they actually were crazy? Or worse, the dangerous kind of crazy?

"You already know them, John. There is nothing to be afraid of." Miami assured me. "You've been hearing them trying to call you from the moment you were born. They're your three voices. They're your soul and mind connectors."

The calming soft voice--soul, I realized. The other two were minds, trying to send me coherent thoughts and communication but it was all lost in a jumble. They were trying to find me. Oddly enough this idea as horrifying as it may seem, left me feeling less alone than I originally thought. Somehow these three, my alleged soul brothers, completed me. I completed them. "A-And I'm they're body." I asked.

"Yes, see now you're accepting it. It's going to be okay. We're here to support you." Miami said. I looked again as his chain-link birth mark.

"D-Do you have...soul brothers?" The question sounded ridiculous on it s service, but Miami took it dead seriously.

"I did once." He stated coldly, his body going rigid, only using his reflexes to drive. "I do not like to speak of my past." There was an awkward silence that made me feel as if I had done something wrong.

"I founded The Pods Community to protect all the connectors I possibly can." Miami explained. "Connectors who never unite feel lost and incomplete, and...well, let's just say the world's most gruesome crimes have been linked to a split in a pod or connectors not finding each other in time to balance each other out. That's why it's so important that you meet and bond with your soul brothers. You're dependent on one another. Otherwise the magic may overtake you. Without them, you may lose your mind, your body, or your soul. In our community, you're away from people who won't understand and will try to hurt you."

Finally, Miami pulled into what appeared to be a gated country club community. Instead of a person at the guard gate, there was a keypad for Miami to enter a code. From the outside, this "facility" appeared more like a wealthy and lavish retirement neighborhood than an institution. It may all be a facade, but the word asylum was far from my mind as we drove past a swimming pool and golf courses and into a true suburbia. These were houses and rather large ones, certainly not what one associated with a grotesques "pod". The van was parked in the driveway of one of the houses. "Here we are, Pod 39. Curfew is 11pm to 5 am. Keep in mind that attendants conduct pod checks every evening and morning. Your classes and therapy schedule will be provided, and everything else you need is in the handbook. Enjoy your new life!"

With a click, the car door was unlocked. I reached for the door but gasped in realization. I could move freely. No more aches or pains. I felt free. It was almost like I was actually normal for once. "I'm all better!" I cried, easily stepping out of the van. My movements didn't take a toll on my body. I hopped in the air excitedly, so eager to just flex my muscles without being in agony. "I'm moving!" I squealed. "I'm doing it! It's a miracle! It's a kind of a magic!"

"No, John." Miami smiled for the first time since I met him. "It's because your soul brothers are close by. Being close to them avails your pain of bearing their movements." He handed me a key, I assumed to the house. "Now, I'll bring your things inside. Go on in. They're waiting for you."

Meeting new people was not a fun experience for me. In fact it filled me with dread and worry. What if they didn't like me? What would I say? How would I come across? I hated the uncertainty of it all. To add even more pressure, this was likely the most quintessential first impression of my life. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

I opened the door and entered into the home. Two cats immediately greeted me. Well that was unexpected. "Hello, are you my soul brothers?" One cat ignored me and ran away. The other chased after its friend's tail. Were there any humans here?

"Of course." Miami sighed as he lugged in my suit case. "I told them to be ready at 10 am sharp and they are not. Where are those boys?"

The wall was lined with decorative posters. I assumed someone in this house was an artist and a rather talented one at that. Several paintings of musicians instantly recognizable. Jimi Hendrix, The Who, and of course The Beatles. At least my soul brothers had good taste in music. In the center was a plain poster that simply read: Pod Sweet Pod.

Most odd was a piece of paper framed on the wall like a poster containing some rules. Each rule written on the paper was in a different handwriting.

(Un)Official Rules of Pod 39:

1\. All cats are welcomed.

2\. Be kind and respectful to each other, especially to Brian's Red Special.

3\. TBD

4\. THERE ARE NO RULES!

"They will likely ask you to fill in that third rule. All pods have some sort of ritual for their newest connectors. Remember that these rules are unofficial of course. What you need to know is in this handbook." Miami placed the heavy text down onto the mantle. "This is your copy." It had to be at least 1000 pages long.

"Brian, Freddie, Roger?" Miami called impatiently. "I'm here with your body!"

That sounded so creepy. I didn't like this. Was there any way to turn back? My movements were free again. I could run.

Before I could consider my escape options, a tall boy with lustrous dark curls cascading down his back descended the stairs. "I'm so sorry, Miami. I was reading and I lost track of time." I instantly recognized the voice. The sweet soft one that would calm me down and put me to sleep. I found my soul! He rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping over his clogged feet. Were clogs in style? I wasn't in on the latest fashion trends, so I wouldn't judge.

"That's alright, Brian." Miami accepted. "Where are the other two?"

Brian hesitated. "Um, I'm not sure. They're always up to something those two."

Miami frowned. "Well perhaps having your pod finally completed will allow you to keep better track of each other. I hope to see more progress in your therapy in the upcoming weeks."

"Yes sir." Brian bowed his head.

"I trust that you can get John accommodated. And please do find Freddie and Roger ASAP. If left alone too long they may try to burn down the entire community." Miami used a sharper tone with him than what he had used with me. It made me question whether I could truly trust him.

"See you later, John. Please, don't be afraid to reach out to me or an attendant if you need help." He changed again and spoke kindly. Without saying a word more to Brian, Miami left.

"Hello John. I'm Brian. How are you feeling?" He greeted me warmly.

Confused. Scared. Sad. Insane. Homesick. Worried. Anxious. Alone.

"I'm so sorry, John. I doubt any of this is easy for you." Brian surprised me by giving me a hug, and with it the familiar warm calming feeling his voice usually brought. My emotions melted away into a honey like tide and I was grounded.

I looked into Brian's hazel eyes and saw great kindness, but also an inexplicable sadness. I saw those sleepless nights and unrest, and everything that I had been feeling up until this moment. Now I understood what it meant to be a soul. While I was physically exhausted, Brian was emotionally drained. "You're bearing my negative feelings to make me feel better?" I questioned.

"'s no trouble." He gave me a weak smile. "Really. I'm supposed to balance the pod emotionally. No point in having any of you harbor these feelings. It's my job to handle them for you."

"That's not right. You shouldn't have to take on our emotional baggage. It's depressing enough just having one set of emotions. Now you have to deal with four people at once."

"The same way you have to absorb the pain of my guitar scars, Roger's sore drumming hands, and Freddie's strained vocals. It's not fair, but together we make it worthwhile." It made sense that my soul brothers were musicians. It was why their voices blended together so beautiful and they often sang in my head.

"My fingers always feel blistery and my hands sore, but the throat pain is the worst. You must be really bloody good musicians. Or at least I hope you are otherwise I've been dealing with this bullshit all my life for nothing." I rambled.

"How well do you know us, John? We've been trying to make contact with you for years, but we never really get a response from you. I'm afraid as far as our magic goes, we're better at music. But we try at least. Hopefully with you here we'll feel more complete and start to make some progress." Brian told me.

"I'm familiar with your voices, but that's about it. Nothing I ever heard from you ever made any sense and all it did was drive me mad. In fact I think I'm completely mad now, not even slightly. All of this might as well be a fever dream." I put my hand on Brian's chest expecting to go through him like he was a ghost. No, he was very much real.

"It will get better in time. I promise. Our first few days here were all a mess. We can share horror stories of our own to make you feel better. You wouldn't believe how uncomfortable I was when I first arrived. Roger and Freddie were like two peas and a pod and I was the lone string bean with no clue what I was doing here. Come, let me show you around. This is going to be your new home after all."

Another cat scurried past us as we made our way out of the living room. "That's the kitchen. We eat in there." Brian pointed out. "Self explanatory." I stated.

Down the hall, he directed me to one of the bedrooms. Or...all of the bedrooms. What I found was four Queen sized beds all squished together into one heaping mattress. "Our bedroom." Brian noted casually and moved on.

"Um, that one is not self explanatory." I pointed out.

"We sleep in there." Brian stated as if this were enough to justify.

"There's three of you. This is a two story house. Plenty of space. Why do all three of you share a bedroom?" I knew Miami wanted us to be close, but I appreciated some privacy. There were some boundaries that should be left in place.

"Oh." Brian flushed. "It's strictly platonic of course. We find that we can't get a decent night's sleep unless we cuddle. Other pods will tell you the same thing. Haven't had any sleep paralysis issues in the two years I've been here with my mates. It's especially nice on cold nights when the central heating system just isn't enough. If you're uncomfortable, we can move the fourth bed to another room. We don't want to force you into anything you wouldn't enjoy."

Warmth on cold nights and no more sleep paralysis? "If you put it that way, it's definitely something to consider." I said hesitantly. Brian smiled, and we continued on with our tour.

"Music room." Brian opened a door leading into a bedroom transformed into a studio complete with a grand piano, drums, and several different guitars. A beautiful red guitar rested on a pedestal next to the piano. It stood out among the rest. "That's my baby, the red special. I built her myself with my father. She's my pride and joy."

"You built your own guitar?" I inquired. Before I fell ill, I loved gathering spare parts and building different machines and electronics. None of them really worked too well, but they were passion projects. Maybe Brian and I would get along well. I listened with intrigue as he humbly explained the process he and his father had gone through to build the guitar.

"Oh I hope I'm not a bore. I'm so sorry." Brian said after finishing the most fascinating story I had heard in a long time. "I have a terrible tendency to just babble on and on about things sometimes. In fact Roger in particular has been waiting for your arrival because he think you could physically force me to keep my mouth shut. He's joking I hope, but you never quite know with Rog."

I didn't dare to comment on the horrifying implications of that joke. What exactly did being a body entail? I tried my best not to think about it.

Another cat greeted us at the top of the stairwell. "Meow." "No, Lily, I do not know where Freddie is." Brian told her. "Meow." "And I don't know where he keeps the treats either. You'll have to ask him yourself."

"Umm..." I tried to disguise my shocked gasp as a cough. Brian looked back at me with a shrug. "By the way I speak animal." He said nonchalantly, leading the way to the library. Another self explanatory thing that should have been glossed over in favor of the major things like talking to to animals. Instead Brian gestured to the bookshelves, desk and telescope. "We read and study in here. It's my favorite room in the house."

"Here's my copy of the handbook, tabbed and annotated." He took the heavy book off the shelf. "You should really familiarize yourself with it. A lot of your questions will be answered. Those are Freddie and Roger's copies over there. I'm not sure how they're kept in such mint condition like they've never been opened before."

While I'm sure Brian's analysis on his classic literature books was interesting, I found myself more intrigued by the telescope. Thankfully, Brian seemed to notice my fleeting interest in his copy of Crime and Punishment. "Ah, that's my telescope. From this window you can get a beautiful view of the stars at night, almost as good as the view from the patio downstairs, but it's much cozier to star gaze in here with the comfort of all my books about space. I love gathering knowledge about solar system and galaxies far, far away. I hope to someday be an astrophysicist when I grow up. That is if I can manage a normal life." His eyes flickered back to that place of despair.

"Hey, chin up, Bri! This morning I was bed bound and now I'm dancing!" I did a little bop to demonstrate. "Today has been the craziest day of my already crazy life, but I know there's some glimmer of hope somewhere." I couldn't believe how quickly I was able to open up like that. I would never ever dream of doing an embarrassing dance move and saying something so cheesy to a total stranger. Somehow though with Brian it felt natural. Plus, it seemed to work as it got Brian to smile again. "Thanks, John. I think I needed some spout of optimism. Now on with the tour."

"This our fun room. It's the brain child of our resident Roger Meddows Taylor." Brian announced opening the door to what appeared to be the playroom of a spoiled child. The room had everything imaginable: Three slides, a model train set, and boardgames galore. In the center of the room was a gigantic trampoline where two boys were bouncing in perfect unison. The blonde was a natural beauty with a bright inviting smile and sparkling blue eyes. The second boy had a more exotic beauty with caramel skin, flowing black hair, sharp cheek bones with a distinct jawline, and the most enchanting dark eyes holding so much depth and mystery behind them. Watching them jump, I suddenly got the jelly feeling in my legs as if I were jumping along with them. Unlike before when this muscle ache multiplied into an unbearable pain, now it was a simple awareness in the back of my mind. Interesting. It was just like Miami said. Being close to my soul brothers alleviated the pain.

"Have you two seriously been up here jumping this entire time?"Brian cried.

"Yes." The two majestic trampoliners answered in unison before collapsing into a fit of giggles. This was the same melodious laughter I heard last night.

"Oh my fucking God!" The blonde, the fun raspy voice, exclaimed. "We forgot our body was coming today!" Nope, that still sounded creepy when it came from such a pretty face. The two glared at each other accusingly and became lost in their own little world as if they were engaged in a silent argument.

"They share a brain, or should I say lack of a brain." Brian whispered.

"Well, we have reached the conclusion that our forgetfulness can be pinned down to Roger." The brunette said stepping down from the trampoline. Ahh, the posh godlike voice. Very fitting as he resembled a glorious Greek God. In fact all my soul brothers seemed ethereal. I was afraid I was far too plain to fit in with them.

"You rotter, Freddie! That is not the conclusion we reached! We said it was your fault!" The blonde--Roger, jumped down from the trampoline and gave the God--Freddie a little shove.

Freddie rolled his eyes and approached me. "Hello, my darling. I'm Freddie Mercury. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, lovely." He took my hand and brought it to his lips. My heart raced and I felt myself flushing. Normal reactions to an over the top romantic greeting, right? I met those rich chocolate eyes again and was unable to remember my own name. No response escaped my lips. Why did he have to be so damn charming right from the get-go?

"Okay, my turn!" Roger waved a hand in between our eyes and I casted my gaze away, trying to make it seem like I was unfazed. Roger and Freddie looked to each other, communicating something unspoken, and then Freddie nodded and stepped back.

"I'm Roger Taylor, and I'm going to be your favorite person in this pod." He proclaimed. He gestured to the room. "Having a fun room was my idea! It's unique to our pod because no other pod has a Roger."

"Actually, Pod 4 has a boy named Roger." Brian pointed out and Roger glared at him. "I'm sure you've met Brian already. He keeps us out of trouble sometimes when he can. And of course there's Freddie, my other half." Freddie had the audacity to wink at me when Roger pointed back to him. "So welcome to Pod 39!" Roger concluded. "We're happy to finally have you here...um, John, right?"

Oh he wanted a response to that. Um. "Yes." Nailed it!

"No, no, no." Freddie clicked his tongue. "You are too cute for a boring name like John. We're going to have to call you something else, dear. Something more...spunky and adorable."

What? Freddie thought I was cute. Oh the butterflies in my tummy. No, focus John, focus! "John's my name."

"And Freddie wants to give you a nickname." Roger explained. "What's your last name?"

I never had a nickname before. I'd play along. "It's Deacon."

Freddie looked me over, his eyes narrowing in consideration. Oh no! Was I not good enough for him? Was he judging me? Then Freddie smiled and it was alluring that I just wanted to stare at it all day long. Unfortunately I only got to look at it for a fleeting moment before he covered it with his hand. Why hide away such a captivating smile?

"I dub thee Deaky!" Freddie declared, with his hand still blocking his lips. "John Deaky Deacon. Our beautiful body!"

Damn it! It was still creepy and it would never not be creepy. I tried to cover up my cringe with a cough.

"Pod 39 is complete at long last!" Roger shouted fisting his hand in the air excitedly. Then he and Freddie looked to each other, engaged in another lively but silent conversation. "No." Freddie finally spoke. "That would be lovely, but we don't even know if he plays bass."

"I play bass, guitar, and piano. I mean I used to. Haven't really picked up any instrument since..." I wasn't ill anymore I reminded myself.

"John, why didn't you tell me?" Brian exclaimed. "That's wonderful that you're musical like us!"

"Oh, I um didn't think it was important to bring up. Besides, I haven't played in years." I dismissed.

"We'll help you find your rhythm again." Roger offered. "But we really need a bassist for our band."

"I'm not the best choice for your band. My heart's not really in it. I love music a lot, but...I'm not rock star material." That was truth. Surely I would let these three down if I agreed to play in their band. I would drop dead of stage freight. Ideally, I'd rather have someone else play and sing the songs I wrote and have them enjoy the spotlight instead of me. I preferred the shadows. When people noticed me I just got in the way of things.

"Bri, you have a lot of work to do to give him good vibes." Freddie said. "He needs a major confident boost."

"I'll try my best," Brian replied, "but why does it always have to be me? You two aren't making any progress penetrating my mind. We're failing therapy and magic. I've never failed at anything in my life. It just feels so demeaning to--"

Out of nowhere Roger started snickering and then Freddie joined in. Brian shook his head. "You see what I have to deal with?"

"What could possibly be so funny?" I asked them.

"Brian said penetrate." Roger giggled.

"I wish you two would take this more seriously. The other minds are able to control each others' thoughts and dreams. And then when it's our turn to show off in class, we have nothing to show because you never put in any work." Brian accused.

Freddie and Roger spoke over each other. It sounded like Roger said "I'm lazy" and Freddie said "It's scary".

"Your mind's a dark place, Brimi." Freddie clarified his response. "I don't really want to be a part of it. In fact, I don't really want to be a mind at all. I'm hardly clever enough to handle all the thoughts of everyone in the pod."

"Same." Roger said. "Why do you want your mind invaded so bad anyways? Doesn't it freak you out?"

"I just don't want to fail." Brian said. "And it might be nice to have someone else take over my thoughts for a while. I could use a break from thinking. I do it nonstop and it's exhausting."

"You'd make a much better mind than us, I'll tell you that, dear." Freddie remarked.

"So let me get all of this straight." I interjected their banter. "Freddie and Roger can control our minds. Brian can control our emotions...and talk to animals. And I-I...I can control all of your bodies."

I was surprised by how they all accepted this madness and nodded. "You're a quick learner. Good job, Deaks!" Roger complimented. "Yes, dear, you're going to do very well here with us." Freddie agreed.

"None of this scares you? The fact that we're all here and being forced to...to learn how to control each other in different horrifying ways? You don't fear losing control?"

"We're not being forced to do anything, dear. The ones being forced are the ones who Miami didn't rescue in time. Either the government gets to them first or they don't meet their connectors in time and they snap and become serial killers." Freddie reasoned.

"That's a bit of a jump, don't you think?" I asked skeptically.

"Well that's why Miami has us practice and train with our magic in our pods because we keep each other sane and prevent each other from going too far." Brian explained.

"We aren't like other pods. We have two minds. Makes things a bit more complicated." Roger pointed out and Freddie nodded.

"Roger and I inevitably will go mad some day. Most pods with two connectors serving the same purpose do." Freddie said. "But at least we'll have some laughs before we meet our doom." They looked to each other and laughed again over another inside joke.

"You'll get used to it all." Brian assured me. "Just take it day by day."

"The important thing is that we're finally all united." Freddie said. "I know things are new and scary for you, Deaky, but I promise you, dear, you're a part of our family now, and we'll take good care of you."

"One of us! One of us!" Roger teased.

'Embrace the madness, John.' I pinched myself one last time and finally accepted my new reality.

***

Each pod was delivered a complete Thanksgiving dinner. It was probably the most delicious meal I ever ate. Succulent turkey, creamy mash potatoes, fluffy stuffing. I savored every scrumptious mouthful.

"Now that we're finally all here together, I've been thinking that Brian may be right." Freddie said.

"Brian May may be right." Roger laughed.

"Ha-ha very funny." Brian retorted. "Go on, Fred. Are you going to tell me that I'm right about my tofurkey and you'll finally give up your dry murdered bird?"

"Oh heavens no, darling. I was going to say that Roger and I should try to use our powers more regularly."

Roger looked to Freddie, nodding slightly. Freddie's upper lip quivered, but they otherwise gave no indication of having a conversation.

"Alright. Let's try it then." Freddie spoke. Then he didn't speak, but I still heard him loud and clear. "Deaky, my dear, please pass the gravy."

I dropped my fork. "D-Did you just?"

"Yay! I did it! I finally made contact!" Freddie applauded himself. "Now, seriously, darling, pass the gravy please." "Oh." I picked up the gravy cup and handed it to him, casting my eyes down as our fingers brushed against each other. Why was this awkward?

"I guess I'll give it a try as well." Roger said. He looked to Brian and closed his eyes in concentration. Brian grinned. "Hello to you too, Blondie."

"Look at us go, Brian! We're not going to look like dolts on the next exam. We'll make progress." Freddie proclaimed. 

"It's amazing what can happen when our minds put their minds to it." Brian said. 

"Yeah, it's actually a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be." Roger remarked. 'Hi Deaky.' He waved at me like speaking telepathically was no different than tying your shoe. I waved back to show him that I heard. 

I took another bite of the mash. It needed more gravy. I wondered if it worked both ways. 'Freddie, can you hear me?' He didn't react. 'If you can hear me, pass the gravy back please.' Again, no reaction. Either I was no good at magic or it only worked when Freddie spoke mentally to me. I was so busy about trying to bridge another telepathic connection that I forgot that I needed more gravy until I took another bite of the mash potatoes. I thought about how it could use the extra salt and flavor of the gravy. Then out of nowhere, the cup of gravy lifted on its own. Defying the laws of gravity, the cup hovered over my plate. What the hell? I couldn't believe my eyes. The cup immediately fell back onto the table and thankfully Roger caught it before it could spill. 

"If you wanted the gravy you should've just asked, John." Roger said. "I think it's a bit early to be trying advanced magic like that, and nobody likes a show off. We already have a Brian." 

"I-I...What did I do?" I gaped. 

"Wait that was your first time using magic?" Freddie gasped. "Good for you, darling! That was very impressive."

"Thanks. I'm um not entirely sure what just happened." I admitted. 

"You'll get used to it." Freddie and Roger said in unison. 

Well I truly had no other choice than to get used to whatever in the world was going on in this madhouse. But at least for once, I wasn't alone.


	2. Don't Lose Your Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets to know his "minds" a bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> This chapter features PTSD, panic attacks, and child abuse.
> 
> Yikes! It's a dark one!

_Freddie's POV_

_'Abdul has 3 apples. He eats 2 of them and then a friend gives him 3 more apples. How many apples does Abdul have now? Please show your work.'_

_Hmm... I silently asked Roger what he thought of the problem. Did they do maths the same way in London?_

_'Yes, Freddie.' It was like my friend I never met was here with me. 'Maths is just as stupid here as it is in India. Tell Abdul he can stick those apples up his butt.'_

_I couldn't help it. I snorted with laughter._

_"Farrokh!" Mr. Kumar reprimanded. "Perhaps you would like to share with the class what is so funny? You do not want the headmaster to write home again."_

_No! Not another letter home. Papa was already so disappointed in me. "I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again." I held up my paper to cover my teeth as I spoke. It didn't matter of course. The kids had already deemed me Bucky._

_I focused back on the problem, trying not to let my mind trail away._

_'Freddie!' Roger was back. 'Hey Freddie guess what? Guess what?'_

_I ignored him. He wasn't real. He'd go away._

_'You're not guessing, Freddie. Are you there? I know you're there. Why aren't you answering me?'_

_"Shut up!" I shouted._

_Mr. Kumar dropped his piece of chalk and the room went dead silent. Oh no! "Farrokh Bulsara, you need to learn to respect your elders. To the front of the classroom, young man." He reached for his ruler. I gulped._

_"I wasn't tell you to shut up, sir. I was telling Roger." I said, blinking back tears._

_"Repeat after me for each strike. Roger is not real." The ruler came down sharp on my hand. I yelped. "Say it!" The teacher demanded. "Roger is not real." The ruler struck again, harder this time. "Again." "Roger is not real."..._

"Roger is not..." My eyes fluttered open.

Sure enough, blonde tresses were tucked beneath my chin as Roger slept cuddled beside me, very much real. _'Just a dream.'_ I reminded myself. "My Roggie." I cooed lovingly, petting him affectionately as he snored soundly. Brian stirred next to him, some of his tangled curls brushing against Roger's nose.

"Freddie?" The whisper came from my other side. Deaky lay next to me, his beautiful green grey eyes wide open staring at me.

"Go back to sleep, dear. I'm fine." I was tempted to kiss him goodnight, but it seemed much to forward.

"There's something on your mind." He replied. "I can sense your thoughts."

Ah. So I was getting better at being a mind. There was indeed a chance for us. Brian was wrong to lose his faith in our magic. Especially now that Deaky was here.

"Do you want me to make us some tea? I don't think I can sleep and tea always helps." Deaky said sweetly. Well there was an offer I would certainly not turn down.

"Alright, dear."

We got out of bed and tip toed to the kitchen. Deaky fumbled a bit but managed to find everything necessary for a warm cup of tea.

"So you were talking in your sleep. Kept repeating over and over again that Roger isn't real." He said as he prepared the kettle.

"It was just a bad dream." I dismissed.

"I'm still not sure if any of this is real." Deaky remarked.

"Who's to say? Everything is made up in the end. Sanity is nothing more than a social construct." I watched curiously as Deaky tested out his powers having the tea shakily prepare itself. He was catching on to magic scarily fast.

"Amazing!" His eyes seemed to sparkle with wonder. "All I have to do is think about something with conviction and then it happens." His giggle was pure and cute enough to melt my heart as he opened the cupboard door and put away the ingredients without having to move a muscle.I knew if I wanted to do well on our upcoming minds exams, I would have to poke around Deaky's head, but it felt like an invasion of his privacy. Tread lightly. I knew better than to go too far with magic.

"Don't get too complacent with your magic." I warned.

As if to contradict me, Deaky placed the cup of tea in front of me using only his mind. He stared at me expectantly. What did he want?

"You can sit down and have a cup with me, dear. Make yourself comfortable." I thought that went without saying, but apparently it was needed.

"So you can't hear my thoughts?"Deaky inquired.

"I'm not a good mind. Roger and I pretty much share a head so that comes naturally. But I don't enjoy meddling in other people's minds. If you'd like I could stop in your brain and say hi, but most people don't appreciate it."I said. ' _Besides I might go too far...'_ I didn't allow Deaky to hear that slip. Learning the ropes was enough for him. He didn't need to know the trouble Roger and I have gotten ourselves into over the years.

Delilah hopped up onto the table, eyeing Deaky curiously before deciding that he was worthy and prowled away. "I just love cats." I sighed. "Such divine creatures."

"They're cute." Deaky remarked. Oh the irony of someone as adorable as himself commenting on the cuteness of something else.

"I didn't really have any pets growing up." He said. "Mom's allergic to just about everything with fur."

"That's a shame really. Pets are nice companions, especially cats." I reminisced as I sipped my tea. "My Papa didn't let us have pets either. He was very strict. Almost as many rules at home as there were in boarding school. I hate rules and so does Roger. Brian wants us to be orderly, but we won't give in to his many persnickety demands."

"There's literally only three rules and one of the rules contradicts the other two. I don't think Brian is trying that hard to keep you in line." Deaky pointed out.

"Oh yes. That reminds me. You get to add to our list of rules. One rule per connector is the rule." I explained. "So take some time to think about it, and then let us know."

"Like I said. The rule that there are no rules kind of defeats the purpose." Deaky responded. So sassy. I think I liked him...a lot.

But my love life would always be a bit of a tragedy, and I didn't want sweet Deaky getting hurt in the crossfires. So I was going to have to confine myself to the dreaded friend zone for now.

"So what was boarding school like? Was it full of snobby stuck up kids like in the movies? Is that where you picked up your Posh accent?" Deaky inquired.

Not a topic I'd like to dwell on for too long, but Deaky's questions seemed innocent enough. Not too much poking around in my past. "I learned the Queen's English. My dialect is just a part of being one of her loyal subjects."

"Riiight." Deaky said. "So where are you from? Kensington? Chelsea? Some rich London neighborhood?"

 _'I wish.'_ I thought. My normal response would be "I come from London Town. I'm just an ordinary guy". But I couldn't lie to my soul brothers. "I'm not from the UK actually." I admitted. "But I'm Londoner at heart."

"Really? You had me fooled with the accent. So where are you from? Did you go to boarding school here or somewhere else?" I doubted Deaky had any ill intentions in asking about my past. We really needed to bond with our new body if we wanted this "therapy" to work.

"I was born in Stone Town, Zanzibar and spent the first few years of my life there. Then my parents sent me to school in India when I was around seven. " I opened up. "What else would you like to know, dear?"

"Wow! Zanzibar, that's in Africa, right? That's pretty cool!" Not a hint of insincerity. A good sign. "Do you miss it there?"

Do I miss it?...

"Where are you from, Deaky?"

He frowned. "Um, I'm pretty boring compared to you. I'm from Oadby, Leicestershire, and that's about it. Nothing exotic or special about me. I'm about as basic as a slice of white bread. I'd much rather hear more about you."

Fuck! No, he did not want to hear more about me. Or perhaps he did, but either way I didn't want to tell him too much about Farrokh Bulsara.

"I don't think you're boring, dear. And you're much too pretty to compare yourself to a slice of white bread." I was just speaking to deflect the conversation away from my past, but it was the truth. Then Deaky blushed and it was the sweetest sight ever seen. Goodness, I have myself a crush, don't I? This can't be good.

"You're a good flirt, Freddie." He said, casting his eyes down at his teacup instead of me. "But I know you're only trying to make me feel better."

"But I mean it, darling. You're absolutely lovely." I insisted. I was probably digging myself into a deeper hole, but Deaky needed to know how damn beautiful he was. I could go on and on about this great beauty in front of me, but I refrained.

Something suddenly felt...off. I couldn't describe it, but it was like a chill in the air that came out of nowhere. A warning of a disaster in the making. "Brian." I realized. Shit! Deaky, no doubt feeling the unease as well, followed me back to the bedroom.

Roger was convulsing and sobbing hysterically as Brian held him. Roger's blue eyes were open, but they were somewhere else entirely. "Night terror." I recognized.

"He won't wake up!" Brian looked to me. "Please, Freddie, you have to go get him. Bring him back."

This was perhaps the worst part of sharing a mind. It was my responsibility to save Roger from his own psyche. But if I went too far, neither of us could wake up from this. "Alright, just keep him calm...or as calm as you can manage." I instructed.

I lay back down on the bed, trying my best to ignore Roger's screams and Deaky's questions. I shut my eyes and slowly cleared my head, shedding myself of my identity and merging my consciousness with Roger's...

_'Where are we?' Roger and I now shared a body in a dreamscape, a recreation of memory. It was dark, cold and cramped wherever we were. Outside there were shouting voices. I could make out a woman screaming and a a little girl crying._

_'We're safe in here.' Roger responded. 'Michael won't think to look in the cupboard.'_

_I was familiar with this traumatic experience. Roger often flashed back to this moment in time. I tried to keep my gay head straight and not get fully absorbed in the memory. We had to get out of here. Back to the present. 'Roger, listen to me, this isn't really happening. This is all in the past. You need to wake up. Reliving in this moment won't change anything.'_

_'He's hurting Mom and Clare. What should I do? I can't let this go on!'_

_Fuck! "Roger, this is in the past. It already happened!" I accidentally had us speak out loud._

_Roger panicked even more. 'He's going to hear us! We're supposed to be quiet! Why can't you stay quiet?'_

_"You like that, Winnie! You like being smacked around!" The drunk slurs of Michael Taylor could be heard outside the cupboard. "Y'know it's your fault our son's fucked up in the head. Always talking to his stupid imaginary friend. You let him live in make believe land cause you're a freak yourself. No wonder he thinks that fucktard Freddie is real. It's your fault. And maybe if I hit your head hard enough, it'll snap back on straight and you'll think like normal person for once."_

_"I have to stop this." Roger said._

_'You can't stop it, my love. It already happened. Please, dear. You have to wake up. You have the power to move on.' I begged him. 'This moment isn't real. It's in the past. It's all in the past.'_

_Roger wasn't listening to me, and I knew there was only one way to end this, but it was very dangerous. 'Roger, don't make me send you away.' I threatened as he reached to open the cupboard. 'Because you know there's a chance I won't get you back, but I'll do it if there's no getting you out of here.' I reminded him._

_"I can't take this anymore. I've gotta save Mom and Clare." He opened the cupboard and stepped out. Damn it!_

_"Goodbye, Roger." I allowed myself to gain full control, sending Roger's consciousness to another place where he'd be safe and warm. With the temptation of a sports car, he went willingly._

_Now I was alone, facing Roger's memories, bearing these dark thoughts for him, so he could easily wake. It was my job as a mind. I had to take these memories from him. He couldn't carry them by himself._

_I went through it like muscle memory knowing the steps Roger had to take. I allowed it to all pass without getting too emotionally involved. I grabbed the gun from the safe and pointed it as Michael's head as he continued to bash Winifred's face with his fists. Clare was sobbing. I couldn't stand to see my baby sister so upset. So I sent her away to a better place in the back of her mind. I'd come back for her later. I knew she'd be safe in the recesses of her head, riding ponies and eating ice cream. So she went to sleep. Good now she wouldn't have to see what I was about to do._

_"What are you doing with that gun, you stupid boy! Put that thing down. It's not a toy you know!" Michael shouted._

_"I know." I pulled the trigger._

_Mom, still bleeding from the head screamed. "Roger, what did you do? What did you do?"_

_"We're free now, Mama. He'll never hurt us again..."_

_I pulled myself out of the memory and went back to the deeper consciousness where I had left Roger. Hopefully I'd be able to bring him back. I knew there wasn't much of a chance of him getting Clare back after all these years._

_I floated seamlessly through a dark array of silent thoughts, trying not to get lost myself. Then the skies dissipated into an empty road. A Ferrari pulled up in front of me. Roger rolled the window down. "Hey, Fred. Wanna ride?"_

_"Roger, we need to get back to reality." I told him. "It's time to wake up."_

_"But I'm happy here. I don't want to go back. I don't want to be reminded that I killed my god awful abusive dad and my mom went to prison taking the blame for me. I'm sure Clare is better off too wherever I sent her. I told her to ride ponies and eat ice cream until I came back for her. She can do that for a lifetime. It's better than having her wake up and realize she's been abandoned. Why don't we just stay here, Freddie? Forget our troubles and just drive around for a little bit, hmm?"_

_"You know you can't just run away from your problems, Roger. You have to face them. I can't lose you, love." I begged._

_"What's going to become of us if we go back, Fred?" Roger sighed. "You hear those horror stories of minds who snap. The serial killers who sent their victims away before killing them. The same way I sent Clare away. I don't want to live with myself if I end up like that."_

_"I promise you won't end up like that, Roger. You know why? Because you have me, and you have Brian, and you have Deaky. I won't let you lose your mind, and they'll help you keep your soul and body. Everything will be alright. C'mon. Take my hand, and let's wake up together." I reached out to him earnestly. "Please, Roggie. For me. We need to go back."_

_"Fine, but only because I can't resist your big brown eyes, you sap." Roger took my hand. We both shut our eyes and inhaled, clinging to the serene feelings that Brian was sending to us back in the real world._

My eyes opened but I couldn't move otherwise. I was stuck in place. What the hell?It was like I was strapped to the bed. _'Freddie, help! I'm stuck in a dream again! I can't move!'_ Roger internally screamed at me.

"John, it's alright. They're out of their trance. You can let them go." Brian said.

Then suddenly my movement was back. Roger sat up next to me, so he got his volition back as well. John offered us a weak, apologetic smile. "You um looked like you were having seizures, so I kinda...suspended your movement for a little bit. Bri said it might help."

"Yes, that's a side effect of merging a conscience." I told him. "Sorry if we scared you, dear."

"But it's good that we have a body now." Roger said. "This way when this sort of thing happens again, we won't have to worry about falling off the bed or hitting or heads or something."

" _When_ this sort of thing happens again?" Deaky echoed. "Just how often does this kind of thing happen?"

"About once a month." Roger and I answered in unison. ' _Like a period.'_ Roger added, making the two of us giggle.

"It's not always me though." Roger said. "Sometimes I have to rescue Freddie from the skeletons in his closet."

"Darling, please, I left all those skeletons behind when I came out of the closet." I'd leave it at thank you very much.

"Wait...you're gay?" Deaky blurted.

Shit! I just assumed that Deaky would be accepting because he was a part of us. I tried to hide my panic and play it cool. "Why, thank you for noticing, dear."

He laughed. "Sorry, I don't really notice those kinds of things right away. I just see you, Freddie. Not a gay or straight man. Just a Freddie, my soul brother." This time I was the one who blushed when Deaky gave me a hug. I eagerly returned it of course. "My Deaky." I cooed breathing in his fresh fruity scent. Yes, I could get very used to having this wonderful boy around as the newest member of our family.

_Roger's POV_

The others went back to sleep, but I lay wide awake, lost in my own thoughts. It was easy to get trapped within my own mind when Freddie wasn't around for whatever reason. Maybe I'd heat up some leftover turkey. No point in being miserably awake on empty stomach. I slowly untangled myself Brian's arms and unlatched my legs that were intertwined with Freddie's. I thought I was being quiet enough not to wake anybody, but I was wrong.

"Roger?" Deaky whispered.

"Deaks." I responded.

"I-I felt you get up." I heard him fumble and get up as well. "Want some company?" He asked. I shrugged, and Deaky followed me to the kitchen.

Deaky sat down at the table as I scoured the refrigerator for leftover. An awkward silence loomed between us. "How are you feeling, Roger? T-That was a lot." Deaky spoke.

 _'Lie'_ I thought. "I'm fine."

"So, it was just a bad dream, huh?" Deaky mused.

"Yeah, but it's all over now. Fred got me out okay and I don't have to think about the darkest moment of my life and Clare's probably better off wherever the hell I can't find her because this world is a cold, fucked up place." Well shit! I did not mean to vent all that information.

Deaky sat there stoically taking in everything I just blurted out. "Who's Clare?" He asked eventually.

"My little sister. I-I um...my dad was a bad man. Loved to get drunk and beat on my mom. I'd always hide in the cupboard to get away from him. B-But I didn't want Clare to have to see..." The flashes of memory blinked before my eyes. Freddie was asleep, so he couldn't balance out any of these thoughts. I had to face them on my own for now. "I sent Clare to a place where she'd be happy. I thought I'd be able to find her again and bring her back." The guilt clawed at my insides leaving an empty pit that no amount of cold stuffing could fill. "Look, there's a reason why we're learning how to use our magic responsibly and only within our pods. If it had been one of you I sent away instead then one of us could have helped me get you back. Of course I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I was just trying to stop Michael from...from..."

' _"You didn't do anything wrong, Roger. It was all me. I'm the one who shot the gun. Do you understand? Some nice people from the government, they're going to take you and Clare to a better home now. And I'm...I'm gonna go away for a while. Now, go wake Clare up, alright?"_

"She took the blame for me." I sighed. "They sent her to prison for five years, but she didn't do anything wrong."

"How could she go to prison when it was obviously self defense?" Deaky inquired.

"She decided to plead guilty to negligent homicide and not go to trial. She was scared that if she didn't turn herself in, then the police would do a full investigation and discover my fingerprints on the gun. She really didn't want me throwing my life away." I explained. "But I wish she had just told the truth. I belong locked up, not her. I killed a man and I kicked Clare out of her body. She's nothing more than an empty shell living inside a real mental asylum. I was sent there too at first, but Miami intervened and brought me here. Every now and then I think about it all...and...well, Freddie shares all these thoughts and memories too. They've become his own in a way, just like his thoughts and memories kinda blend together with mine. He'll never admit that I'm a burden to him. At least not out loud. But we know each other's darkest fears and secrets. I know he sometimes wishes he was never born at all because sharing a mind with me is so troubling."

"Don't be daft, Roger. Freddie loves you. You're always laughing together and never very far from each other. I see the way Freddie smiles when he's around you. He would never consider you a burden." He replied.

"How would you know? You've only been here a day. It's not like you've seen the insides of his mind anyway." I shuddered at those moments where I went too far, catching glimpses of his chaotic brilliance almost becoming consumed by it all. "There's a whole side to Freddie that I don't think he'll ever to show to anyone. I wasn't even supposed to see it. I stumbled upon it by accident. It was mad genius, this little fantasy world he created for himself to escape when it's too hard to cope. He calls it Rhye. And you don't exactly see it when you encounter it, rather you hear it...all these songs playing at once." I tried to explain what exactly I had discovered that was so encapsulating, and I nearly drowned in the Seven Seas of Rhye. The Black and White Queen didn't take too kindly to trespassers like me.

"He'd probably let you in, Deaks. I think he likes you." I speculated. At least from what I observed, Freddie regarded Deaky in a special way almost resembling those thoughts reserved to his lovers. Although when it came to Rhye Freddie guarded it like a fierce dragon. No one was allowed in. Not me, not even Mary.

"Do you like Freddie...like that?" Deaky asked shyly looking down at the ground nervously. Aw, what a precious little bean.

"Um...He's my Freddie, and of course I love him with all my heart, but I...I don't think I see him in that sort of way. We're just too close. It'd be like dating an extension of myself." I reasoned. Wait what did I just say? "Besides I'm straight." I added. _'And I like somebody else who I can't have because he's straight too.'_

"Does that ever get tough? Having crushes and whatnot when you share a brain?" Deaky wondered. "Obviously if you like someone, Freddie's going to find out or vice versa."

Nope, not even Freddie could get his hands on my darkest deepest secret crush. No one would ever know who I clandestinely wished would return my hidden feelings. Besides, I was straight, so it wouldn't work out.

"We haven't had the best of luck in our love lives." I admitted. "I accidentally sabotaged Freddie's relationship with his girlfriend Mary, and somehow that impacted my relationship with my girlfriend Dominique, and the whole thing became a train wreck. At least with Freddie's last two ex boyfriends he was able to maintain a friendship afterwards. They're pretty amicable right now. He and Mary, on the other hand, didn't exactly end on good terms. And Dom is not particularly fond of me anymore, but that's fine because I've moved on." _'And I'm hopelessly in love with someone else who doesn't even notice me.'_ Good thing Freddie was sleeping and didn't overhear that. He would never know. I'd just push my crush even deeper into my mind where Freddie couldn't find it.

"I think I like Freddie." Deaky whispered, his cheeks growing red. "But I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend before. I'm not sure if I'm gay or straight or something else entirely."

"That's okay. Fred thinks you're cute. In fact he hasn't been able to take his eyes off you since you arrived." Unlike me, Freddie wasn't particularly good at hiding his crushes. I was glad to hear that Deaky returned his feelings. 

"I don't think I want Freddie to know that I like him." Deaky sunk his head down shyly. "I-I've never really had a crush before. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I don't wanna mess up our pod dynamic. It's better if we just stay friends for now. Because if anything were to happen, then all four of us would be affected."

It was probably for the best because I had a tendency of getting in the way of Freddie's happiness. It was hard to date when you shared a mind with your best friend. I mean on the insane shot that Brian actually did like me back, it would just make things awkward for the pod as a whole and throw off our dynamics, like Deaky said. Besides, it would be hard for me to fantasize about Brian with Freddie poking around in my head, meddling. Although that seemed to be the case now even though Brian wasn't mine. Damn it! I did it again. I acknowledge my secret that nobody should ever know about. But it was okay because Freddie was still sleeping so he didn't overhear. 

Before going back to bed, Deaky took down our rules poster and added his to the list. **'We do not have romantic relationships with our soul brothers'**

That was a reasonable rule. Too bad there were no rules. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rules are made to be broken ;)


	3. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger has an identity crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I failed 2 of my exams and I'm in a bit of a depression thinking about what this means for my future. I won't know my results for another 2-3 weeks, but that somehow makes things worse.
> 
> Fitting enough, this chapter is all about denying your feelings and lying to yourself. Enjoy!

_Brian's POV_

A beautiful Friday morning with no school. Great day to sit out on the patio beneath my favorite tree and read. I prepared myself a cuppa, and wiping the sleepiness out of my eyes I collected the newspaper from the doorstep of our pod.

"Good morning, Bri!" John was already seated at the kitchen table, wide awake with a plateful of food "Want some breakfast?" Well this was a breath of fresh air compared to the oversleepers I was used to.

"Umm.." I looked down at the eggs, bacon, and sausage. Gross! I didn't want to be rude because it was a kind gesture for John to cook us breakfast. None of us could cook and relied on pod meal deliveries. "The toast looks good. Thank you."

"Oh right. I forgot you don't eat meat. Sorry." John sighed. "But I agree toast is good. Sometimes I like to melt cheese on my toast. That's the best kind of toast."

"You didn't have to make us breakfast, John. I appreciate it and I'm sure the others will as well, but we get our meals delivered to our pod." I informed him. "In fact it should have arrived by now." Did I not see the box when I got the newspaper?

"I um thought you would like this better than the frozen waffles and boxed cereal. I'm sorry. I put away what they gave us. I'm sorry." John nervously shrank back into his seat.

"No worries. Like I said, it's appreciated." I replied.

An awkward silence fell between us as I got myself settled. Before John arrived I was considered the quieter one. I wondered if John was just shy or if I did something to upset him. I wanted us all to get along. Why couldn't I come with anything to say? Why wasn't John speaking?

Thankfully, something caught my notice that sparked conversation. "That's a new rule. No romantic relationships? Is that yours?" Freddie and Roger likely already broke it. I didn't doubt they had feelings for each other. I didn't necessarily mind the rule. It wasn't like I had a chance with Roger anyway.

"I just didn't want to disrupt the pod dynamics." John said. "Will that be a problem?"

I had no direct evidence that Roger and Freddie were romantically involved beyond a hunch combined with a tint of jealousy. But this new rule was probably for the best. Roger didn't even notice me, so any hopes were moot. "I think it's appropriate."

Giggles coming from the bedroom interrupted our little chat. "The twins are awake." I remarked. John nodded. "Always laughing so it seems."

"Rog says a lot of their laughter comes from the awkwardness of sharing a mind and overhearing something that was meant to be private. It must be strange, having your thoughts merge with someone else's." I explained. "But I guess we can't really take an outsider's perspective to it because Freddie and Roger have known it that way their whole lives."

"Good morning, my lovelies!" "Good morning, bitches!" Their voices overlapped, but I think you can tell who said what. Freddie waltzed and Roger sprinted into the kitchen.

"Mmm, is that bacon I smell?" Roger inhaled. "Yum!"

"Aww, Deaky made us breakfast! Thank you, darling. That's so sweet of you!" Freddie planted a kiss on his cheek making him flush bright red.

"This beats frozen waffles and boxed cereal!" Roger cheered. "It's great having someone who knows how to cook around."

"Yes, they only send us home-cooked goodies on holidays. So don't expect that turkey dinner every night." Freddie told John.

"I-I'm glad you're happy. It was no trouble." John replied, nibbling on his toast. He didn't say anything else, and I felt relieved. It wasn't me. John was just shy after all. It seemed like we had a bit in common.

"So what's the news of the world?" Freddie snatched the newspaper. He side eyed Roger as if mentally scolding him. Knowing them well enough I picked up what they were talking about. "Rog wants to just read the comments and have the cats piss on the rest?" I asked.

Roger laughed and Freddie grinned. "Are you sure you're not a mind, my dear? You're mighty good at reading people."

I shrugged. "Roger's predictable." Roger stuck his tongue out at me in retaliation which I also should have foreseen. Honestly, I liked predictably. Science was all about making predictions after all.

"So um I was thinking of going on a jog through the neighborhood. I was bed bound for so long. It'd be nice to do some exploring and get some fresh air." John said.

"Bed-bound? Our movements were so overbearing you were basically crippled?" I gasped. I never knew that. Yes, I found myself in the darkest pits that the depths of depression could take me before Miami found me and brought me here, but John's situation was worse.

"You poor dear! We had no idea." Freddie cried. Roger nodded sympathetically. "That really sucks. We're sorry. We didn't know."

"It's fine." John stated flatly. "I just wanna take advantage now, y'know. So um is that alright if I um go jogging?"

We were encouraged to do everything together, so it would probably be best if we all went with him. But I was really looking forward to relaxing and reading.

"Exercise for fun?" Roger crinkled his nose in distaste. "Count me out, mate!"

"Deaky doesn't need a babysitter. Of course it's alright if you go jogging, honey." Freddie said.

I didn't think anything of Freddie's pet names because he used them so frequently, interchanging my dear and darling like common words. Although he and Roger exchanging glances told me the honey slip up meant something.

We chatted and laughed a bit, enjoying our breakfast together, and John got ready for his jog. Freddie casually flipped through the newspaper, not perusing it too intensely.

Normally I sensed a change in mood from my soul brothers, but I only purposely took on the emotions as my own leaving my counterparts with a sense of calm. Here, the mood was so stark and so sudden that protecting Freddie from his shock and fear was a natural impulse. I didn't consciously take the emotions from him. It was just too heavy and too abrupt. I wasn't a mind so I didn't have the context thought wise to determine why Freddie suddenly went dead pale out of nowhere and I was bombarded with the weight of these feelings. Grief. Guilt. Fear. Intense sadness. Denial.

"You know what, darlings. I'm going on that jog with Deaky now. Goodbye." Ah, the denial settled strongest.Perhaps I alleviated him from all the other emotions. Either way, Freddie was out the door in a flash chasing after Deaky who had just left.

I thought I would no longer feel the gnawing paranoia creeping at every fiber of my being once Freddie was far away enough. No it wasn't coming from Freddie anymore.

"Roger?" The poor thing was in tears. He looked to me with big blue eyes shedding so much pain. Pain that didn't belong to him.

"Roger, whatever is going on with Freddie, you can't block it from him forever. You're supposed to balance it. If Freddie disassociates, then it's too much for you to handle on your own." I squeezed his hand finding that the contact made it easier to send him the calming waves. _'Please'_ I thought _'My fallen angel has been through too much already. Bring back that giggling idiot that I love. I can't stand to see him so crestfallen.'_

Roger sniffled. "I have to, Bri. I-I already lost my family...And Fred's always there for me. I wouldn't wish this sort of guilt on anyone. I can't let him have this...I want him to live the life he deserves. He doesn't deserve to lose his family too. Nobody does."

Finally I saw what had triggered all of this. A newspaper article in the international section describing a violent uprising in Zanzibar and the hundreds of people dead.

"Freddie's family." I realized. There was no way to know if they were among the casualties.

"Mama, Papa, Kash...I-I don't know if they escaped." Roger went too far, but I consoled him nonetheless identity crisis aside.

"There's still hope. We don't know for sure." I told him. "Now try to get back to your own headspace. It's better for both you and Freddie that way."

"Look at the picture of that village. That's not far from where we live. In fact Kash and I used to play by the river nearby..." Roger was in dangerous territory right now. I wasn't sure what would happen to Freddie if Roger were to completely cross over. We can't have two Freddies. We needed our Roger.

"Roger Taylor, you listen to me. That's your name. Roger. Do you hear me?" I set the newspaper aside to distract him.

Roger blinked. "I can't let Freddie feel this. I have to protect him." He said.

Good. He was unstable, but he was here. I pushed more feelings of bliss and serenity to ease the pain and gave Roger a hug. "It's alright." I told him softly.

"I know Freddie's father has a British passport. That's something, right?" Roger murmured. "Do you think they got out in time?"

"I wish I could tell you." I sighed. Maybe denial was the right approach for now. "How about a game of Scrabble, hmm? Does that sound like fun?"

_***_

"Escapades? What the hell, Brian? This isn't fair! You're cheating!" Roger pouted.

"How am I cheating?" I laughed, marking down my 200 point word. "Your turn." In a fit of rage, Roger threw one of his tiles at my face and somehow in my attempt to dodge it, it got tangled in my hair.

"So you forfeit then?" I assumed.

"No, never. Give me my fucking tile back!" Before I could remind him that he was the one who threw it at me, Roger yanked at the stray curl trying to get the piece back. "Ow! Stop that!" I could recite you equations on opposing forces and gravity, but for the life of me I didn't anticipate what would happen when I stood up as Roger was pulling at my hair. The momentum of the tension of Roger's pull and me pushing against it caused me to fall back onto my back, and Roger tumbled on top of me, belly-side down. Oops. Our chests were pressed up against each other, our faces inches away. Well this was awkward.

Why weren't we moving from this intimate position? It felt like we were just frozen in place, staring into each other's eyes. It was a moment, but it last an eternity nonetheless. "Hi Bri." Roger smiled cutely. Good God this boy would be the death of me! "Hello, Rog." I wasn't sure how I could speak, I felt so choked and flushed. "Um...do you mind..."

"Oh, yeah, yeah of course." Roger rolled off of me. "Sorry. Let's um get back to the game." He finally picked the forgotten tile out of my hair.

I tried to pretend that whatever that was didn't happen. I already had to take on so many emotions, so there was no point in opening my heart to a nonexistent potential. Roger didn't like me back. I'd be a fool to believe otherwise. Within a few minutes, we were back to our usual dynamics.

"And I believe unless you have an unbelievable comeback, my final move makes me the winner." I announced setting down my final tiles for a triple word score.

Roger beamed. "Not so fast, love, you underestimate me." I didn't even see the tiles that Roger put down or pay much attention to whether his victory declaration was warranted. For all I knew, he could have gotten a 1000 point word, but my mind was stuck on the little four letter word. I might've lost Scrabble which I couldn't stand, but I felt like a true champion if Roger really did just call me love. Maybe there was a chance for us after all.

"Why do you look all starry eyed and happy? I won and you lost! And I wanna rub it in, damn it!" Roger exclaimed. Sometimes I asked myself how this little minx could be the love of my life? Then I took one look at his giddy smile and it just took my breath away.

"Okay, now you're scaring me." Roger stopped taunting his win. "Don't get me wrong, I want you to be happy, but you're acting weird. Is everything alright?"

 _'Everything is absolutely perfect because I'm here with you.'_ I thought. I was so smitten it hurt. Eventually Roger would have to realize my feelings for him. He was my mind for crying out loud. How daft could he be?

"You um called me love." I decided to be forward.

Roger went dead quiet. I expected some sort of denial or for him to make a passing joke like "Sorry I mistook you for a car." Instead Roger just stayed silent, his blue eyes staring at me widely looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"It's no big deal." I assured him, hoping to at least elicit some sort of reaction. "I don't mind." _'In fact I'd encourage it.'_ I thought.

Roger inhaled. He bit down on his lip. And then... "Well, of course it's no big deal, darling. You know me, dear, always overusing my words of affection because I love everybody."

What the fuck?

He started to put the tiles back in the box. "Here, dear, help me clean up. We don't want to leave this mess on the table. You know it's only a matter of time until one of the cats comes and knocks all the tiles down. My silly Delilah always loves to play on the tabletops."

I thought I had gotten him back just fine. Did something trigger his disassociation into Freddie? The newspaper was out of sight, and we hadn't brought up anything about Freddie's family. What was I supposed to do? I watched dumbfounded as Roger walked with perfect posture and a certain spring in his step as he put the box away, carelessly singing a tune to himself.

"Roger, is that you?" I asked.

He suddenly dropped the box, blinking as if coming out of a trance. "Brian?" He asked as if coming out of a daze. "H-How did I get here? Did I win Scrabble?"

Oh good. Roger was back. Now it was a matter of keeping him here. Should I tell him what I thought happened? "It's okay, Roger. You had a bit of a moment and merged with Freddie again."

"Oh." Roger nodded. "So, then I suppose anything I just said or did came from him. Hopefully, he didn't flirt with you too much. You know how Freddie is. Sometimes he can overstep boundaries. But he's our Freddie and we love him."

"That we do." I agreed.

While it was a relief that Roger hadn't gone too far and I managed to get him back, I felt a wave of disappointment. Roger hadn't called me love after all.

_Freddie's POV_

Farrokh Bulsara, who the hell was that? Certainly not me. I was Freddie Mercury and right now I was chasing after my Deaky. God did I hate running. Physically running that is. I'm totally not running away from my problems. That's something Roger would do, not me. In fact it was time Roger learned to deal with his problems, so I'd just push all those thoughts of my family perishing onto him. I mean what thoughts? It was just a splendid day. Perfect for going on a morning jog with the love of my life.

As much as I was enjoying the view of watching Deaky jog from behind, this wasn't ideal for getting to know my crush on a more personal level. "Deaky wait! John! John!" Finally, I caught up. "Finally found you, darling!"

"Oh, hi Freddie!" Deaky's shy gap toothed smile was the most pleasing thing I ever laid eyes upon. "I didn't know you'd wanna come along." He said. "Especially not without the others."

"Contrary to what you may think, I am my own person." I replied. I took his hand. "Now let me show you around the neighborhood. I hope you like it here, Deaky. Rog, Bri, and I are very excited to have you here."

"I'm just relieved that I can finally move again to be honest." I knew the Lord was testing me because John had the audacity to bend over and touch his toes. So bendy and flexible. Wonderful to focus on this sexy sight instead of....Fuck! Nope, I wouldn't let me mind go to my family being murdered. I'd push those thoughts away from now. Roger was taking them from me anyway, making it easier. Bless him. I owed him so much.

"My two ex boyfriends and really good friend live in that pod." I pointed to the house we passed. Ah, yes I could always think of Joe, David, and Phoebe to distract me. "They're the best. Whenever I throw a party, they're first on the list to be invited. Brian doesn't let us have parties on school nights and the curfew often gets in a way, but we always manage to have some fun."

"Parties?" John noticably tensed. "I dunno about that, Fred. Parties aren't really my thing. So many people around you...and what do you do? What do you say? How is that fun?"

"You drink, you dance, you socialize. It's always fun. Don't be silly. You just haven't been to one of _my_ parties. You'll love it. Everyone does."I assured him.

The trio themselves were out enjoying the day gardening in their yard. "Ay-Oh!" I hollered. "Ay-Oh!" They repeated in unison waving back to me.

"Who's your cute new friend, Fred?" Phoebe asked.

"John Deacon." Deaky said meekly, standing behind me. That wouldn't do. I beckoned him forward. "This Deaky and he's a joy." I introduced him properly. _"_ Deaky, meet my ex lovers but forever friends David Minns and Joe Fanelli and my ultimate forever friend Peter Freestone but if you don't call him Phoebe then we don't take you seriously."

"Joe, David and Phoebe." Deaky looked to each of them as if trying to get their names correctly.

 _"'_ Bout time your body showed up." Joe said. "I'm a body too if you're wondering. David's a mind and Phoebe's a soul. I don't envy you having to put up with Freddie's energy. How's your throat? If you need to borrow some honey let me know. Putting lots of honey in your tea really does the trick."

I rolled my eyes. "Roger's the one who does all the screaming. So if there's anyone giving Deaky a sore throat it's him."

The three laughed like they didn't believe me.

 _"_ If your soul brothers aren't giving you daily massages, then they're doing something wrong." Phoebe told Deaky.

Deaky still hadn't uttered a peep to the group, but I didn't push him. Sometimes it was hard to make new friends. I just took for granted that I always had Roger.

"Well it was nice meeting you, John." David said. "You're very lucky to have Freddie." He grinned at me and winked.

 _'You like him. I can already tell.'_ I was taken aback hearing a voice other than Roger's. Unlike me David could expand his magic outside of his pod. ' _Don't worry. We approve. And as always no hard feelings from me and Joe. Love you lots, Freddie bear!"_

Aww. That was his pet name for me. Very adorable. Brought back fond memories. I loved these boys even though I was no longer romantically involved. They would always hold a special place in my heart.

 _"_ Tell Roger we say hi." Phoebe insisted.

"And tell Brian he owes us tomato plant seeds for our garden." Joe requested.

"Will do. I'm going to continue showing Deaky around. Always a pleasure visiting you darlings." Deaky softly said something resembling a goodbye, and we parted ways.

"You really do seem to be on good terms with your exes." Deaky observed. "Why aren't you together anymore if you don't mind me asking?"

Eek! Bit of a touchy subject, but nothing was off the table. "After my break up with Mary, I wanted to give up dating. But David was a fellow mind, so I thought he'd understand. He was so sweet and charming, but...it was still awkward because he didn't know what it was like to share a mind." I wouldn't go into more detail than that hoping Deaky would understand what I meant. I still sensed Roger now playing Scrabble with Brian. He was never truly gone which was comforting. But when I was in bed with my partner and he entered my mind either intentionally or accidentally, things could get ugly. "Privacy is hard to come by." I said.

"I don't understand. Can't you block Roger out when you want to?" Deaky wondered.

"When something really important is happening to one of us, we tend to get absorbed in each other's thoughts." I explained. "And wasting the mental capacity to block each other out kind of destroys the mood. David and Joe were very nice about it, but most people don't put up with it too well for very long. I don't necessarily blame them. I can't give all of myself to them because part of me belongs to Roger. And it's just something they'll have to accept,"

That's why John's new rule was for the best. Roger and I couldn't separate ourselves and it just made things messy. I didn't want any more heart ache.

"So Mary didn't take it well?" Deaky figured out.

"It could've been better." That was an understatement.

' _"Freddie!" Mary giggled as I picked her up and brought her to the bedroom. "It's almost curfew! Freddie, we can't!"_

_"Oh yes we can, my love." I showered her with kisses, moving aside the rose petals scattered on the pillow. "The rules out there don't apply to us. Not so long as we're in this bed. Sovereign immunity, my dear."_

_"That's not what that means...Oh never mind!" Mary gave in and kissed back._

_Yes this was the perfect romantic evening with my girlfriend. Just the two of us, cuddling and kissing and holding each other tight. I couldn't ask for anything more, except perhaps...No. No. I wouldn't let my mind take me to places where it didn't belong. Mary was absolutely beautiful. No as beautiful as Roger, but...Nope. Not going there._

_'You called.' Roger's voice popped in. 'Having a gay crisis?'_

_Fuck! 'I'm not gay, Roger. Shut up!'_

_'Stop lying to yourself, Freddie. Every time you're with Mary, you think of me. I'm a part of you, you can't lie. You can't just pretend to be straight.'_

_Ugh, I did not want to have this conversation with him right now. So I just deflected. 'Why not? You do it just fine.'_

_Roger was quiet and I thought I had gotten rid of him. Good. Now back to Mary._

_'But I'm not gay, like for real though.' Roger interjected. That was a joke. "Liar! You're even gayer than me, my dear." Oh shit! I spoke out loud, didn't I?_

_Mary pulled away, glaring at me. "You're having sex with Roger in your head right now, aren't you?"_

_Fuck! "No. What? That's disgusting! What gave you that idea?"_

_"I can't take this anymore, Freddie!" She cried. "Look, I don't care if you're gay or bi or whatever, but I want to be in a relationship with you and only you. It's sick what you and Roger have you know. I hope you're not also involved in his relationship with Dom."_

_"No. I'm not. It's not like that. You know that Mary. What Roger and I have is platonic. I love you. I reached for her hand as she got out of the bed. "Please don't go!"_

_"It's over, Freddie. Sort out your shit with Roger, and then we can talk."'_

"Oh my God!" Deaky tore me back from the memory of my break up. I brought myself back to reality to see what Deaky was up to. I let my mind slip for one moment, and suddenly he was dumpster diving. Why was Deaky suddenly in the trash like a hobo? He was much too sweet for that kind of life. "John? What the hell are you doing? Get out of that rubbish! You're not Oscar the Grouch!" I cried.

"Why would someone throw away a broken radio? And all these parts?" Deaky ignored me and began picking through the remnants of people's shit. Gross! It was in the dumpster for a reason.

"It's broken, darling. I can get you a new radio. Come on. Get out of there." Then I caught a glimpse of the excitement in John's eyes as he scoured through the rubbish. Suddenly, I was no longer disgusted. If Deaky found i treasure, then it was not right of me to stop him. "Wow! I can make good use out of all this junk!" He proclaimed.

"You make good use out of everything, don't you." I couldn't help but smile. Deaky really did bring a new perspective to things. Like a breath of fresh air. We needed him. I helped him out of the dumpster, and even put up with chipping some of my nail polish to aid him in getting all the radio parts out. It was all worth it to see that sweet smile.

"Thanks, Freddie." Deaky grinned even wider as we walked home with our new find. Who knew what Deaky wanted to do with that stuff? I just wanted him to be happy. Nothing could beat that.

Back at the pod, I spotted an enveloped dropped at our doorstep. Hmm. I put down a radio bit so I could examine the envelope. It was addressed to _'Farrokh'_ Oh no! I was forced once again to face what I was denying. The fate of my family was likely contained in this letter. I wasn't sure if I wanted to read it.

"They must've made a mistake. A Farrokh doesn't live in our pod." Deaky stated mindlessly. I wish I could continue living in that oblivion. But I had to face reality eventually, didn't I?

"No, dear, my real name is Farrokh Bulsara, not Freddie Mercury." I picked up the letter and brought the rest of the radio parts inside.

Brian and Roger were playing Scrabble, but they were oddly quiet. Usually there'd be quips and arguments and a lively competition between them. None of the dead silence, just staring at their tiles and the board, not even making eye contact. Well any excuse to prolong my denial I'd take.

 _'Is everything alright? Did you and Brian get into a fight?'_ I asked. Roger showed no indication that he heard me, but there was a slight movement of his eyes as I walked by with Deaky.

 _'Not exactly. I was trying to cover up a secret. So I panicked and pretended to fall into your conscience again. Now Brian's worried about our sanity.'_ Roger summed up.

Oooh. A secret. Juicy. Roger didn't have any secrets he could keep from me of course. I knew everything about him. Although I was fairly certain what he was trying to keep from Brian.

"So, are you going to open that? It must be important if they're using your real name." Deaky reminded me again of the letter in my hand.

"My name is Freddie." I said a little too sharply. That was enough to get Brian and Roger to abandon their game to come see what was happening.

"Is that from your family?" Brian asked.

"That looks like Bomi's handwriting." Roger observed. How would he know Papa's handwriting? I didn't even know his handwriting. I hadn't seen my Papa in years and Roger had never even met him. "He writes you a lot." Roger said out loud. "I notice things."

"He does write me a lot." I acknowledged. Usually I didn't share what was written from home. My family wished me well and hoped for my recovery. That was the extent of what was said for the most part. Only this letter would be different. Just from the circumstances, I knew this letter would make me cry regardless of whether it was good news or bad news. Time to face the music. I opened it.

_Dear Farrokh,_

_I hope all is well for you and you are continuing to get along with your new friends as you recover. You likely have not been keeping up with international news, so this may come as a shock. I write to you with a heavy heart. We had to leave our home behind as violence overtook the country we once knew and loved. We are fortunate to be alive and have gotten out. Your Mama, Kashmira, and I are now residing in a small flat just outside of London, not too far from where you're located. We have to start anew because the unthinkable occurred back home. At times like this I think of you, my son. I do not regret sending you away to receive treatment, and I know you are getting better. In fact I believe we can all learn a lesson from your bravery. We will be visiting you soon. Just know that we are alive and well. And as always remember: good thoughts, good words good deeds._

_With love,_

_Papa, Mama, Kash_

Good tears. Oh thanks the Gods. My family made it out safely. They were okay. In fact they were coming to visit me.

"They're okay!" Roger squealed, also getting teary eyed. "Our family is safe!" He exclaimed giving me a hug. I was swelled with my own relief upon the news, and I was never one to taint a happy moment. So I didn't remind Roger that my family didn't know him. I let him stay with me, in the warmth of our shared identity. Papa would probably approve of me letting Roger in anyway. Good thoughts, good words, good deeds. 

***

"I've never seen an amplifier like this. Quite amazing." Brian remarked as he hooked up his red special to the new "Deacy amp". He played a few electrifying chords which never sounded better. I didn't believe we could get such fantastic acoustics. 

"Darling you're brilliant!" I applauded, throwing my arms around Deaky. "We are going to be the best sounding band at the winter talent show." 

"What?" Deaky cried, going pale. "What talent show?"

"Twice a year the community has a talent show. Our friend Elton usually wins, but this time we might stand a chance since we finally have a bassist." Roger explained. 

"Me? Performing on a stage in front of people? No thanks." Deaky shook his head. "I'm sure you three will do brilliantly without me."

"No, we won't. We'll shine with you. We need you, Deaky." I insisted. "It'll be so much fun. We'll put on a good show. Really rock 'em this year!" 

"Freddie, we can't force Deaky to be a part of our band if he doesn't want to." Brian said. "Besides, we haven't even heard him play yet."

"Thanks, Brian. I'm glad at least one of you understands. I'm not that good." John said. Damn it, Brian! The baby needed a confidence boost. Why'd you have to do that? 

"Oh no, John. I didn't say you weren't good. I never implied that. Just that we never heard you play. You could be fantastic for all we know." Brian saved himself. 

"I don't really wanna play." Deaky sighed. "Now that my amp is finished. I"m going to work on another project. I'm thinking of building a treehouse in that big tree out in the yard. Is that okay?" Now he was building us a treehouse? Why was he so damn resourceful and where has he been all of my life? 

"That's my favorite tree." Brian remarked. "What a nice idea, John. A treehouse would be lovely. I'd love to bring my telescope there and get in some good star gazing." 

"Treehouses are fun." Roger said. "Clare and I had a treehouse. We had lots of toys stashed in there, and we'd hide away and forget all our troubles for a while." I tried not to linger in the reminiscence of Roger's lost childhood. The memories of a world so tranquil it seemed almost impossible now was tempting, but we needed to keep ourselves separate and grounded for the time being. 

My soul brothers went to go work on the treehouse, but I decided to sit at my piano instead. Building things other than art was not really my style. I'd enjoy the treehouse when it was done, but anything involving power tools was beyond me. Unless you needed me to make a sexual innuendo about said tools, in which case I'd gladly abide. I did find a power drill to be quite sexy, and the thought of Deaky holding one was almost too much. Yes, it was probably best that I stayed here and avoided those thoughts that would send me straight to hell. 

"Freddie?"

"I'm not thinking about Deaky!" I blurted. Oh. It was Roger, and he likely knew exactly what was on my mind. "Um, go on, dear. You can work on the treehouse. I just wanna work on my music a little bit."

"I wanted to talk to you." Roger sat down next to me on the piano bench. ' _Aren't we always talking?'_ I thought. Roger snickered and picked up on the music sheets and gently whacked me with it. "You know what I mean, twat." 

"Alright, then talk to me, love." I prompted. "What's bothering you?" 

He cringed. "You called me love." 

I shrugged, not thinking anything of it. "It's no big deal, darling. You know me, dear, always overusing my words of affection because I love everybody." 

Roger knew this of course. I'd called him love before. I call lots of people love. Why was he so suddenly uneasy? I did a little digging despite him trying to hide it. No secrets between us. 

"You called Brian love? Aw, that's sweet." I cooed. "It's about time you told him how you felt."

Roger gasped. "How long have you known? All this energy I spent, trying to mislead you and monitoring my own thoughts so you wouldn't find out. Fuck!" ' _I really can't keep anything from you, can I, Fred?'_

I knew for a while, but Roger had me fooled in that he was trying to hide it from me. His thoughts weren't entirely subtle. "So what happened?" I pressed. "You called him love, panicked and started acting like me?"

Roger nodded. ' _Going into your headspace comes so naturally it's kinda scary. I guess it's my safe place.'_

That confused me. _'Were you faking to throw Brian off or not?'_

"At first it was intentional, but I was just a little too good at it." Roger sighed. "I think I spooked Bri too. Now things are kinda weird between us. I don't know how to fix it."

"Tell him you love him." I prompted. Roger internally screamed at me. "Are you fucking insane? I can't do that! He'll reject me and everything will be ruined and our entire pod will be in a disarray." _'Besides, I'm straight. I'm still telling myself that lie. It's not worth coming out of the closet if Brian's just gonna break my heart.'_

"It's not just your heart he'll be breaking." I said. While we still struggled reading the others' minds, I had a feeling that Brian was also a fool in love. As much as I loved to meddle, these stubborn boys needed to figure things out on their own. "Don't worry, darling. The truth will set you free. Love can never be wrong."

"So does that mean you'll confess your feelings to John?" Roger teased. 

Thatbastard. Roger already knew my answer when he flashed me a cheeky grin. _'Absolutely not!'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little all over the place, but I'm not really feeling my best. I hope to write more soon. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this story makes sense. It's just a cool idea I had and decided to go with it. So for clarification here are the boys' "pod records":
> 
> Freddie: 18; Mind; Abilities: telepathy, mind control
> 
> Brian: 17; Soul; Abilities: pathokinesis, nature affinity 
> 
> Roger: 16; Mind; Abilities: telepathy, mind control
> 
> John: 16; Body; Abilities: telekinesis, body control


End file.
